The Smiths return for a hilarious caper in episode five, “Do You Want Kids?,” where their mission of safeguarding an aging criminal (Ron Pearlman) reflects their parenting skills. Elsewhere, Jane’s ambitions within the company place a wedge between her and John.
While they never mentioned their opinion about children in the previous episodes, the subject interrupts their lives like an unwanted pregnancy. Their mission to keep Pearlman’s Tony Hellinger alive from trained assassins turns into Adventures in Babysitting. After kidnapping Toby from his luxury apartment – and possibly a suicide attempt – the Smiths must take him to a safe house. Discovering their location has been compromised, they race through Italy’s streets from gunmen. Bullets riddle their sleek vehicle as they haphazardly crash a wedding. Soon they’re racing through the cobblestone alleys and corridors.
Toby winces as he tries to keep up. Jane, with all her maternal instincts, encourages Toby with compassion. John is much more the bad cop in this situation, and at one point harshly coaxes Toby into jumping from a home’s balcony. The scene hilariously depicts John chastising a child over a simple task. Relieved he’s survived this crazy feat, Toby accidentally relives himself, shadowing more and more his role in the couple’s mission.
After Jane convinces a family she’s pregnant to use their boat, they cross the river, arriving at an unknown location. While getting settled, John reveals the home is a property he purchased one day at the farmer’s market. Jane is annoyed, and Toby agrees, that purchasing a home sight unseen isn’t smart. They get Toby changed and encourage him to stay inside and away from the windows.
Jane prepares to update Hihi on their progress when they ask her an unusual question: “Are you happy…with everything?” Jane pauses before answering that everything is going fine with John. The handler replies they see her advancing in the company. Suddenly the advice of Mrs. Smith rings in viewers’ heads: “Don’t stand in the way of your own happiness.”
John and Jane are tasked to keep Toby alive through the night. This seems easier said than done, as the child is reluctant to obey orders. He doesn’t want to take his medicine, so John promises him a cigarette. Then, when it’s time for the cigarette, John refuses, stating Toby isn’t allowed outside or near the windows. Jane is stuck in the middle. Things get so heated, that John pulls a gun on Toby to silence him. Toby – enraged – suddenly begins to cry and storms off. Someone is sleepy.
Jane receives more instructions from Hihi: they’re to take Toby to a seaplane for pick up tomorrow morning. Hihi asks Jane if the mission is challenging, again isolating her potential without John.
As Toby sleeps, John and Jane have a heart-to-heart about hypothetical vows. Jane states she vows not to judge John for talking to his mother; and that John should take his cat allergy medicine. John in return vows to not make Jane delusional that Max isn’t going to die; and that he will never kill her. They embrace in a sultry makeout session, in which John whispers, “I want to put a baby in you.” The moment is broken up when Toby appears to proclaim he’s thrown up. John – being the family man – gets him cleaned up.
Morning arrives and the plan to rendevous with the seaplane is expedited as the assassins have found their location. The three sneak out of the house just as it explodes into flames, killing the gunmen. Jane strategically placed random sticks of dynamite on the stove. Mission accomplished.
Back home in NYC, John can’t help but reflect on some curious cues from Jane. Apart from her natural maternal instincts with Toby, she didn’t drink during the entire trip. She also complained of feeling nauseated and faked a pregnancy. He asks her if she’s pregnant and she states no, citing how irresponsible it would be to bring a child into their current situation. John disagrees. We see, again, that their individual goals have not changed from the first episode. John wants the comfort of a family, while Jane is still focused on advancing her career. An argument ensues as there’s a knock on the door.
A package is delivered. It’s a bottle of wine addressed to only Jane; an award from Hihi for her work on the mission. Upset, John claims Jane claims all the credit in the mission debriefs. Jane refutes the accusation only for John to storm off to take a shower. Jane receives another text from Hihi. They ask her if she would like to replace her John.
Episode five was a great venture into parenting. Pearlman is great as the figurative “toddler” John and Jane are tasked with keeping alive. One of the funnier and more action-packed episodes. We also see the Smiths’ stance on parenting, and how it reflects their characteristics. John, who stayed in contact with his mother, and initiated the romantic feelings, is the family man. Jane, on the other hand, is still very focused on her career. This dilemma is a constant for women, which makes the other Jane’s advice from episode four even more important. Erskine shines in this particular episode as we see her struggle with the choice to choose John or herself.
Rating: 9/10