Review: ‘Ted’ Episode 4 “Subways, Bicycles, and Automobiles”

This episode takes place on Halloween, and Blaire dares the boys to watch an old horror movie. The boys smugly think it can’t be that scary so they agree to watch it. As the three of them are watching the film, Johnny and Ted are holding pillows so tightly in front of them, they eventually get scared and have to turn it off. Blaire then mentions a halloween party she wants to go to, but she needs a designated driver since she wants to drink at the party. Ted refuses much to Blaire’s annoyance.  

Blaire continuously scares Ted until she wears him down and he eventually agrees. This episode immediately sets itself apart from the rest of the series as it separates our two main characters for the first time. We see a stark contrast between Johnny and Ted’s nights. In one scene Ted is drinking and smoking at a party, and in the next we see Johnny lonely at home with his parents who are constantly bickering. 

At 8:30, Ted realizes it’s time to go home so he can go egging with Johnny, just as he promised. Blaire sees that Ted is clearly intoxicated and cannot drive. Blaire takes on the responsibility of driving them home. As she’s getting ready to start driving, her professor pulls up next to her window on his bike, and he invites her up to his house for a salad. Blaire agrees and explains to Ted that she is trying to be his assistant, a job that a lot of her fellow students want. Ted and Blaire eventually leave. Ted is driving home and crashes the car.

Back home, Susan calls her friend, Carol, and invites her son over to their house as she sees how bored Johnny is with Ted gone. The friend comes over and he is an older man, closer to Susan’s age than Johnny’s. The guy is a total weirdo and constantly makes Johnny feel uneasy. 

Back with Blaire and Ted, they need to find a way home, and they remember that the professor had a bike. They head back up to his house, and the professor gives Blaire a chapter of his new book to read. He and Ted go into another room, the professor leaves and comes back into the room dressed as a teddy bear. Ted has seen enough as the professor is a total freak. He and Blaire start running out of the house, and the professor asks them to keep this incident quiet. Ted says they’ll agree on one condition: that Blaire gets to be his assistant. He agrees and Blaire becomes his research assistant. Ted and Blaire ride his bike home. 

Johnny’s weird “friend” finally leaves, and Matty is given ostrich eggs, which are massive. Johnny takes this opportunity to egg his neighbors. He throws a couple huge eggs at a couple different kids. Then suddenly, Ted and Blaire turn the corner on their bike, and Johnny wails a huge egg at them and knocks them clean off the bike. 

Back inside the house, the two boys agree to never be apart from each other ever again. Ted scares Blaire to get back at her, but then tells her he had fun with her tonight, and she reciprocates this feeling. The episode ends with a knock at the door. It opens and it is a boy about the age of Johnny, and he reveals himself as Carol’s son. 

This episode is one of the strongest of the series so far. The comedy knocks it out of the park. The concept of separating Johnny and Ted, and the character work are among the strongest aspects of this episode. Susan and Matty take more of a backseat this episode after being at the forefront in episode three. Ted continues to be a great watch with hysterical family dynamics, classic sitcom structure, and good writing throughout the series. 

 

Rating: 9/10

 

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