After months of establishing that he wouldn’t cover Donald Trump, Last Week Tonight host John Oliver reversed his decision to blacklist the candidate from his show.
His main story of the night, called “Trump,” only happened for one reason–because of his sweeping victories in every state primary so far (other than the Iowa Caucus), and because he is set to win in most states on Super Tuesday, the likelihood that Donald Trump will not become the Republican candidate is now next to zero.
Originally, Oliver said that he would not cover Trump because he was just a media spectacle, and nothing more. But now, said the host, this was all too important to ignore.
“At this point, Donald Trump is America’s back mole,” said Oliver, immediately leaping into his systematic assault. “It may have seemed harmless a year ago, but now that it’s become frighteningly bigger, it’s no longer wise to ignore it.”
John Oliver raised every point that Trump consistently makes in his rallies and swiftly dismantled them all. On Trump’s claims that he is a successful billionaire, Oliver complied a collection of all of the failed capitalists venture Trump has made–everything from Trump Steaks to Trump Vodka to Trump Magazine. He then also incorporated a quote from Trump’s own daughter, Ivanka, to avoid what Oliver states is Trump’s habit to happily sue with his “cocktail sausage fingers.”
“That guy has eight billion dollars more than me,” said Trump in a documentary to his daughter, pointing at a homeless man.
Oliver also picked apart the candidate’s claim that he is financing his whole election while accepting side donations out of kindness, not need. In actuality, Oliver displayed, Trump is only loaning his own campaign a few million dollars that he can retract easily long before November.
Overall, Oliver urged voters who were considering Trump to look past his “says what’s on his mind” bravado. The host’s goal was to prove that while watching Trump speak was admittedly hilarious, and while many are sick of the GOP establishment gridlock and want actual change, that Donald Trump is too wild and too dangerous to be a solution to political quagmire.
“A candidate for president needs a coherent set of policies. Whatever you think about Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz, at least you basically know where they stand, but Trump’s opinions have been wildly inconsistent,” said Oliver. “He’s been pro choice and pro life; he’s been for and against assault weapon bans; in favor of both bringing in Syrian refugees and deporting them out of the country.”
Once Oliver had taken apart every one of Trump’s claims, policies, and even his state of mind, there was only one thing left to destruct.
As it turns out, Donald Trump’s family genuinely changed their name from “Drumpf” back in the day, which Oliver could not wait to milk.
While he compared “Trump” to the sound of champagne cork popping, Oliver said, “Drumpf is much less magical. It’s the sound produced when a morbidly obese pigeon flies into the window of a foreclosed Old Navy.”
He then announced a campaign that he was launching to “Make Donald Drumpf Again,” promoting his hashtag #MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain–which trended all through today–and his hat with the same slogan, a play on Trump’s own merchandise.
Though Trump is poised to sweep Super Tuesday, it wouldn’t be unprecedented that Oliver makes a dent on the possibility. His segments have, in the past, done just that.