Deadline says former Saturday Night Live star Adam Sandler (Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison) remembered his bittersweet exit from the show, saying he avoided watching the Lorne Michaels production for a year afterward.

“When I left the show, the first year I couldn’t watch it,” he told Timothee Chalamet at the most recent Vanity Fair awards season event, according to Deadline. “I couldn’t watch it — it just breaks your heart. I guess it’s like when you play sports or whatever, and all of a sudden, you leave, and you see the game keeps going. You go, ‘Oh, they didn’t need me, man.’ It breaks your heart a little bit.”

While rewatching their notable projects, Sandler also took the time during the conversation to discuss how SNL has evolved over the years, specifically commenting on Executive Producer Lorne Michaels’ changing attitude toward cast members “breaking” character, as reported by Deadline.

“Oh, back then, he didn’t like that, yeah,” Sandler said after mentioning trying to get a laugh out of Chris Farley, according to Deadline.“You weren’t supposed to break. I think the first cast — Dan Aykroyd, [John] Belushi, Jane Curtin, Gilda [Radnor] — they never broke; they kind of frowned upon it … The first cast on SNL was like, ‘We’re not The Carol Burnett Show. We take this serious. If you laugh, you’re out.’ It was kind of a rule, and somehow that rule got broken. And now everyone’s laughing all the time.”

Despite the changes, the star of Happy Gilmore 2 noted that SNL has fundamentally retained its “same” core vibe via Deadline. He described the live format as a paradox, stating, “You’re having the best time of your life, and you’re also panicked out of your mind,” reflecting the constant need to stay present during sketches.

“It’s like being on a team,” he said, according to Deadline. “It’s like you guys got this weird little connection the rest of your life, it’s cool.”

Sandler was an SNL cast member from 1990 to 1995, part of a notable group that included Chris Rock, Rob Schneider, David Spade, and Mike Myers. Since leaving Deadline says he has returned to host once, in 2019, earning him an Emmy nomination. Sandler has also made several guest and cameo appearances, including during Timothee Chalamet’s hosting episode this past January and for SNL50, where he delivered a moving tribute to the late comic Norm Macdonald.